Hesitation

It hurts to stop hurting.


Illustration by Leila Kazeminejad (Co-Editor-in-Chief, The Continuist) IG: @kazemoneyjad


By Julia McGolrick (she/her, IG: @poemsbyjulia)


does the body ever come to question why it enjoys suffering so much?

why it delights in pain?

i’m not talking about the type of agony that occurs from any physical ailment

i’m talking about the blade of grief,

the handle being the tongue that spoke those last words

that left a shadow in their wake

each syllable a step taken further away from you

how sweetly you bled, how addicting it became

how your own teeth are now razor-sharp, gum-lines of bitterness

now every time someone opens their mouth to utter a mere word,

you brace your body for the jolt, the shock

what will you do when it does not come?

what will you do when language no longer serves to dismantle?

when you remember that tenderness that has not been entirely forgotten?

~ the ache and the horror of learning what it is to be soft again